SunriseA Twilight Parody
by Siobhan Gem
Summary: Basically a story a friend and I are writing -- we love Twilight and are just joking around with it! It's basically a spoof of Twilight, though, with the character's being opposites. Eddie Cullen comes to Spoons and meets the mermaid Bella Duck...


SUNRISE

By Delaney and Davia

Chapter One: Enter Spoons

My name is Eddie Cullen. I'm originally from Alaska, where my father and I live. Though we don't get much sun, I'm surprisingly tan. No one ever realizes that they could always go to Nicky's Spray Tan Parlor. It's on the corner…

I'm sure you're interested in why the hell I am moving to Spoons, a town in Oregon that is sunny _all year round._ They are in a perma-drought, according to my Mom, Carly. When I got off the plane from Juneau, the sun was blinding as it rose over the sea. Damn. I knew Carly had told me to buy sunglasses for a reason, but of course I hadn't listened.

"Eddie! There you are!" yelled my mom, running towards me in shorts and a t-shirt. It was December. "There is someone waiting for you at the house, they really want to meet you."

"Ugh, Mom, I just want to go to sleep. I'm still on Canadian time." Mom just looked at me.

"Eddie," She looked at me sideways. "Canadian time is the same as time here!" she told me, looking up at me angrily. "You need to be sociable, young man! I know you didn't have many friends back in Alaska, but you need to have friends here in Spoons."

They walked into the kitchen and put down some of there bags.

"But Mom-" Then, I was interrupted by a high peaked girlish squeal.

"EEEEEEKKK EDDIE! Like ohmigod! Do you even remember me? This is going to be like SO much fun!" I just stared at the boy in front of me. He was wearing short shorts, flip flops and a tight fitting Hannah Montana tee with many multicolored bracelets.

I kept staring, eyes probably getting wider with every passing second until the boy said…

"OH I get it funny guy, SILLY I'm Jonathon but you can call me Johnnie. We use to play together when we were little down in El Pull!"

Right. Well maybe I was blocking out that memory for a reason.

"Um. Hi?"

The 'boy' laughed, tinkling in a figgy sort of way. I sorta looked at him, and I couldn't quite figure out why I wasn't running at top speed into the palm tree 'forest' behind her new house.

Mom scuffed her sandals on the ground, sending me a wordless message with her dark eyes: "Damn it, Eddie, be nice to this boy! I know he is a little strange but he is your friend and he will always be there for you."

I sent her a message right back. "I'm not sure if I want a fig for my BFFL, thanks, mom. Or should I go ask the computer nerds if they want to polish their TI-87s together at lunch sometime?"

Just then, a big Cadillac Escalade pulled in, with a woman who looked like she had too many face lifts and an old man sitting in a wheel chair in the passenger seats.

"Oops, Carly and Eddie, I gotta go! This is my mom, Lilly, and her boyfriend, Jimmy. He is _so_ pale. He needs to go to the spray tan parlor – I see someone has been making the right decision!" he winked, throwing his hips to the side in a feminine manner.

"Bye, Johnnie! Let's go shopping sometime, kay?" my mom called after him, smiling a big, toothy white smile.

Yeah, bye.

I picked up my few bags and carried them to my room. It looked just like it did when I went to my mom's house in the winter. I haven't gone in a while, but my room didn't show it. On my desk was a fancy new Macbook Air and the newest version of the leather desk chair. I loved it. The bed was crisply ironed and a light gray color, my favorite. I glanced out my window and rolled my eyes.

There was a giant pool.

A POOL!

And it was supposed to be a drought! That just shows my mom for you. I sighed and jumped on my bed. I kicked off my shoes. I would just take a little rest. I needed all my strength for school tomorrow. I prayed to bob(or is it God) that Johnnie didn't go to there…

Moments later, though, my mother rushed through the door and thwacked me on the head.

"Eddie! You didn't tell me that Esmond has a new girlfriend! Who is she? What is she like?"

I groaned. "Her name is Phyllis. She likes surfing, she's pretty young. She and Esmond have a good time together." It's weird, I don't call my dad by 'Dad' but instead by his real name -- Esmond. Never have called him 'Dad.'

"When did they start going out? Why haven't you mentioned her. She sounds lovely, of course, but _really_! She sounds like she's young enough to be your sister, and she's going out with your dad?" she cried, kicking the door. I looked up at her. I didn't think she cared this much. She was the one who had left him in Alaska, for goodness sake.

"Uh, maybe a year ago, Mom. And I didn't mention her because it didn't seem that important at the time because I didn't think they were going to be together that long. Seems like I was wrong, though, they act like they really like each other. Why do you care so much?" I asked, looking up at her and grinning. She didn't answer, of course, just left.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the short ending, i know it's kinda abrupt! My friend and i haven't worked on this in AGES, just decided to put it up! Tell us what you want to happen, k? It's generally going to follow what happens in Twilight, though :]


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